There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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