You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
