After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
