is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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