...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
