My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
NoShamevember. You game?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
