I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
