just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
