the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He felt like a one man threesome
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
