We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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