FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
