I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
