you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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