Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
