I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
