just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
