True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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