Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
