Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
