Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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