Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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