so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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