I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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