READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i love accidental penises.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
