I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Randomize
