i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
