$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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