Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
