I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
