she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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