"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Drunk is not a location!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
