Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
