my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So squirting runs in the family.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
