I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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