If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
