You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Pooping to opera.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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