I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
