planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
