I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
