That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
