420 ftw
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We got so high we made milksteak
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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