return my video game
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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