Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
