it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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