i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
