I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
