Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
