just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
