if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
