i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
