dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
