Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
